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These are my words and my thoughts. Take them is nothing but what they are. They are not meant to hurt you, to heal you or to inspire you. They are here as a simple expression of who I am. Like it or not, this is me.

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where have I been? - 2004-01-12
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Cynically Beautiful

CP sucks today but my friends don't

It was beautiful today so I walked *note: rolled* to all my classes... I really forgot how enjoyable it is to run into the people you know on campus... I saw this boy from back in the begining of the year... we only met one time but he still waved and smiled. I love Grand Valley. I mean sure it is a school full of "pretty people" which can kill you're self-esteem when you are not one of them, but at least they are nice... seriously despite the stress I couldn't think of a better place for me!

I talked to Rob today, I successfully cheered him up, which made me really happy because I love to do that for people. I kinda feel bad though because he says all this stuff about if I was there he would do this and that... and I wanna believe him, I DO believe him I just can't let myself think about it too much... because, well if for some reason he could do those things... I wanna be ok with that.

Today he said that he felt horrible for making me cry, said that he keeps reading that entry over and over again, but honestly, I wouldn't take back that weekend. I am really glad that I got to meet him and I think a lot of good this have come from our friendship, I really am glad to have him in my life. He makes me smile and makes me feel needed and wanted, which, for us cripples is hard to come by.

I am having a bad time with the CP latly and I don't know why... it keeps coming up again and again in my writing and I am starting to get that paranoid feeling that everyone is watching me... why must people stare? It is just a wheelchair for crying out loud! Ack!

kids, its time for bed, good night.