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Cynically BeautifulI'm gonna stop itI feel like shit, but I guess I have no one to blame that on but myself. Nothing is going badly right now so it isn't even as if this feeling is due to external conditions. I wish I could just get over this and stop being so dramatic. I drove so many important people in my life away last year with these moods. I need to stop before I lose anymore over the same shit. The problem is that I don't really know what is going on... I feel like crying, but we all know that isn't gonna happen... I was talking to Cassandra today about Mom and how she had called Todd a fucking Asshole and then turned around and said she loved him in the next breath.. she agreed with me and actually admited having the same problem with the phrase I love you. I guess when her and Mark were dating early on, (about a month and a half in) Mark told Cassandra that he loved her and she was so shocked that she Just kissed him on the cheek and ran inside...It was weird that we started talking about it because I just had a conversation like that with Robby a bit ago, about how people should be more careful with that phrase. That always seems to happen to me, I have the same conversation with different people within days of eachother. I life is ironic like that. Everyone went to Alexis' girlscout picnic, i didn't go because I do not have a jacket and it is way to cold out. But I seem to be feeling better now that I have had some time to myself today. Cassandra worked from home because Angela is sopposed to be having the baby today... but so far there has been no word. I just know that baby is going to be late just to spite us! Ok I am going to smile now, and I am going to feel onehundred percent me again by tommorrow if not sooner. I'm really sorry everyone I am just a dork, next time slap me and tell me it could be worse, much much much worse!
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